This time around

These past few days, I've been freaking out about uni starting next Monday. Freaking out because I still haven't got a confirmed timetable, which means that I can't tell my manager the days I'll be available to work. She wants at least two days (or equivalent) in a week, and at this point, it's hard to say whether I'll be able to or not. Freaking out because I've been anticipating and working hard towards starting architecture at RMIT and it's becoming a reality. Freaking out because the era of 'in-between-degrees' is almost over, and just like the weeks leading up to finishing my B.A., I'm freaking out because I have no idea of what my life will look like in the next month/ few months/ year.

This time around doing undergraduate university seems to have started very similarly to the last time. Architecture orientation was on Monday afternoon, to which I arrived half an hour late. We had tours or the architecture studios and today we have tours of the workshops. The other day, we were emailed a list of materials to buy, all stationary and art materials kind of things, which reminded me a lot of back-to-school lists in primary school. All of this is making me freak out a bit because I haven't studied in a creative setting since Visual Arts in high school, and I have no idea what to expect. Perhaps I have no idea of what I'm in for. Although there is a sense of reassurance that I've passed two stages of tasks and interviews to be at this university studying architecture, which means that at least the three people on my interview panel think that I'm capable of getting through whatever will be thrown at me for the next three years.

But I suppose I should also care less about what people think. The next three years will be a learning experience, and the following paragraph will be somewhat of a manifesto to myself - a mental pinch in the arm to stop me from getting stuck in cycles of freaking out. Try new things. Be open to criticism. Be critical of yourself. Compliment yourself. Criticise others. Compliment others. Be open to new people. Academic staff are here to help. Soak in as much as you can. Challenge yourself with new people, new ways of learning, new materials and new machines. Stay on top of everything. Draw out your ideas. It will be okay.